The News That Never Was

My interpretation of some of today's headlines. Sure, I'll link to the real articles, but keep in mind that (a) I haven't read them yet, and (b) my versions are probably more interesting ;)

Mary Poppins stars in voter fraud case
Just a pull on the lever helps the President go down,
The President go down... Oh wait, that was the LAST President, not this one...

Flat-screen TV emits international SOS
... --- ... / ... --- ... / .... . .-.. .--. / .. / .- -- / -... . .. -. --. / .... . .-.. -.. / .--. .-. .. ... --- -. . .-. / .- -. -.. / -... . .. -. --. / ..-. --- .-. -.-. . -.. / - --- / -... .-. --- .- -.. -.-. .- ... - / .- -... -... .- / -.-. --- -. -.-. . .-. - ... / ... --- ... / ... --- ...

(- .-. .- -. ... .-.. .- - .. --- -. / .-.. .. -. -.- )

Interesting spam...

The other day I noticed the followig in my inbox:

From: Homeland Security
Subject: Do you need vallium?

I think that pretty much speaks for itself!

Haven't seen Shark Tales yet. But from what I gather, it's rather like Finding Nemo II meets Jaws MCMXXI. I'll let you what I really think about it when I get around to thinking something clever.