The News That Never Was

My interpretation of some of today's headlines. Sure, I'll link to the real articles, but keep in mind that (a) I haven't read them yet, and (b) my versions are probably more interesting ;)

Mary Poppins stars in voter fraud case
Just a pull on the lever helps the President go down,
The President go down... Oh wait, that was the LAST President, not this one...

Flat-screen TV emits international SOS
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