Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the bookstore...

Everyone is talking about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and being extremely careful to mark spoilers and all. But no one is talking about the spoilerish nature of the title itself. It's pretty clear to me that Harry, Ron, and Hermione all kill themselves when they fall off of their horses in a fox hunt. This leaves you-know-who to take over Hogwarts, where Defense Against the Dark Arts becomes a class on how to shred those paint-by-number black velvet pictures from Spencers. Not that any of today's young readers have experienced the rite of passage that was Spencers, but we old fogies will get a huge kick out of Voldie taking a razor blade to that Elvis jumpsuit glowing in the ultraviolet light. This is, of course, right after he turns Draco Malfoy into a golf ball that is glued to the tee after he catches Draco playing the shot game in Potions class. "One shot every time he says the word 'Mudblood' and two if he hisses it!"