'Twas the Night Before Christmas...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and even the mice
Were at the pole watching the fast-melting ice...


Dear Santa,

I hear that your workshop is starting to sink through the ice due to global warming. I'm sending back the toy submarine you gave me last year. I hope it helps.

Your friend,
Virginia

PS: I hope Rudolph's nose doesn't short out. If it does, can Charlie the Green-Nosed Tuna guide the submarine? I sure hope so.

Dear Virginia,

Thank you for believing in global warming. It seems harder to get people to believe in that than to believe in me. The submarine will be useful, but for now, I'm ok if I keep the elves bailing out the workshop.

Love,
S.C.

PS: Rudolph is fine-- his nose doesn't run on electricity. He's also doing well with his swimming lessons. (Sorry, Charlie!)

O Canada

Everything the frightened American traveler needs to pose as a Canadian....
This'll be harder to find than "Tickle Me Elmo" ever was!